The little things

I get frustrated with my language learning progress a lot. I feel like I'm not improving, even though I'm taking classes and self-studying. There are TV programs with foreigners who speak Korean extremely well, and whenever I see a program like that I get a little sad. I worry that I'll never be that good. How does one even DO that? I'm trying to read a book intended for kids right now and I'm struggling through, even with a dictionary. It takes me forever to say anything because I'm always searching for the correct words or grammar. I often have to ask people to repeat themselves or explain what they mean because I couldn't understand one or two key words.

I'm learning - and constantly reminding myself - that improvement shows itself best in the little things.

For example, I hate phone calls. Hate them. Hate them in any and every language. I don't communicate well over the phone. When I first got here, I would put things off for days if they required a phone call. Hair appointment? It can wait, right? Not really, but I don't want to call. Whenever one of the Korean teachers ever offered to make a phone call for me to make an appointment, I would feel so relieved. It's been a year now and I still hate phone calls, but I can call my hair salon the same day I realize I really should get a haircut this weekend. It's something.

In fact, just the other day, I had to call and reschedule a doctor's appointment. One of the Korean teachers offered to do it for me, but I told her I could do it. And I did. I rescheduled that appointment and - with a separate phone call to a separate place - cancelled a follow-up appointment with a dentist I didn't like. No extra time spent with a dictionary and a notebook, writing out what I would need to say. I decided it needed to be done and 5 minutes later, it was.

I always knew I could muddle my way through things if it came down to it, but I worried about not being good enough. I don't worry quite so much anymore. I know there will be times I'm not good enough, but I'll get through them anyway.